Doggie Pledge

I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it

The computer's mouse is, unlike a real mouse, inedible

I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.

I will not throw up on the care

I will not chew everything I find on the floor

I will not roll in dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc

I will not eat other animals' poop

I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop

I will not roll my head in other animals' poop.

"Cat box crunchies" are not food.

 I will not eat any more socks and then re-deposit them in the backyard after processing.

The diaper pail is not a cookie jar

The cat is not considered a snack

I will not chew my human's toothbrush

I will not chew crayons or pens, especially the red ones, or my people will think I'm hemorrhaging

When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining.

I will not drop a soggy tennis ball in the underwear of someone sitting on the toilet

We don not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV

I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance around the yard with it.

The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.

My head does not belong in the refrigerator

I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration

I will not play tug-o'war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

I don not need to suddenly stand up straight when I'm lying under the coffee table

I will not roll my toys behind the fridge

The garbage collector is NOT sealing our stuff

I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house

Posted from (Jokes Everyday)